1.   i hate that i am not living with my mom. i want to live with her at least until i graduate college (my personal choice), but i guess it aint going to happen anytime soon. i'm not dependent to her, but i still need her at times. i guess i need to be more matured on my own. it's okay, i know this 'living apart' isnt the first time, so i guess i shd know by now the experience of not living with her. but sometimes, it hurts me to know that i have her, but i cant be with her, and im not like the others that did lose their moms somewhere in their life, like death, or something like not being with her bc of child custody issues. i love my mom so much, even too much bc i know for 18 years it was just me and her. enough said. ;|
   
2. i hate that i have too many experiences with guys (in general, nothing nasty okay) that i can tell whether they're lying or doing something i will not like. im not bitching or anything, but seriously i just wished i can just be as innocent as before. that's sometimes. i'm not 100% sure that a guy is lying to me though, but i hope you get my point. i still fall for these lies, but it's after months of talking, not like before. you know, all kid stuff. to be honest, i do not regret anything that happened cause experiences are greatly needed in order for me to see a better view. yes? so ex-boyfriends and flirts, believe it or not, I THANK YOU.
   
3. i hate that my dad doesn't care about me anymore. he cared for 18 years (or less, but who's counting?), and then stopped caring just like that. you are not supposed to do that if you are filipino! seriously, even my dad's mom (my lola) is fcking freaking upset bc he should be doing something to help me with whatever the hell i need. and no i am so not talking about my wants right here, obviously, just the needs. at least NOT care for me if i am a bad child, if i smoke (i tried for being curious, never liked it), if i drink (i do, but please it's no closer than 10 drink sessions a year), do drugs (pssh no freaking plans), or just don't go to school (i beg for me to go to school). i would not say i hate my dad period, bc he is still my dad and i cant change that, but i guess it's somewhere near loving him less and hoping i can have a better husband and father to my children, AND NOT SOMEONE LIKE HIM. i know, i guess i worry too much, no?

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